Welcome to the
23rd year of this weekly column that's updated now infrequently, on
Sunday nights or Monday mornings, depending on how well the booze holds
out. If you've got any news, clues or rumors to share from around the
Bay, or the world, feel free to send them to Editor@Island-Life.net
or use the envelope in the masthead. For previous issues, including
2018, visit the Archives.
The Editor
|
Denby -
Reporter
|
Bea -
Artwork
|
Chad -
Coding
|
Tammy -
Fotos
|
Hildegard -
Europe News
|

|
|
|

|

|
|
AUGUST 27, 2023
WHY NOT CURL UP WITH A BOOK

Looks more like a "Must Read" list to me.
ANTS GO MARCHING
So anyway. Rolf dropped in to Kathis Salon for a haircut and who should
he see there in the full service chair but Beth, looking thinner and
more lined than he remembered. But then, years had passed.
She was surprised and delighted to see him and asked how he had been
doing. She was sitting there with a headscarf on and no trace of the
luxurious dark curls that had once had cascaded down her neck.
O, been up and down. Really down, but mostly up now a days. And her?
Hysterectemy if you did not know. Rounds of chemo and radiation. Its
all prophylactic measures. I think they got all of it. Actually I am
fine.
I knew there was something, he said. You still planning to move back
to Michigan?
I thought about that after I had to move out after B. got moved to
Sonoma. Daniel is selling the house. But there is nothing, but some
Family there and that has no interest for me. No support. So I found
a place with Karen's help.
Yeah, i got a text from Dan that there was going to be a big estate
sale and we all should come to collect something. Dan was not there
when I showed up but Joe was running things -- showing the stuff and
taking money and so forth. They had removed the coffee grinder so Joe
was making coffee by pounding coffee beans in a bag with a hammer. Dan
was out for the day at Point Reyes; i guess to relieve the stress about
relocating his mother, handling all of her affairs and the house. Joe
has always been the good soldier. I tell him, once a Marine, always
a Marine and he pooh-poohs that violently, but it is true. Do you know
where B. is?
I have been visiting her up in Sonoma. I see her about three times
a week. It is a distraction while going through the chemo and radiation
is next. Moping around the house I feel these twinges -- but really
it is nothing and I am doing fine. I feel better being occupied. I can
give you the address. It's Venti and she is in the Memory Unit. I drop
in and bring stuffed animals to occupy her. She needs direct one on
one and Dan does not see that. She has stopped eating and all his friends
are saying that is the end when they stop eating, but it does not have
to be that way. I comb her hair and change her undershorts because the
staff are not trained to do that . . .
All while not being paid. That is angelic of you.
Well she is someone who has been part of my life and changed by life
for many years. Heck you have known her longer than me. So while I am
at loose ends it is nothing for me. And she was the center of so much
of the social circle that used to be so vibrant. All those talented
people coming and going!
I have known her some 45 years. I wonder if she still has that gold
ring I gave her a while ago.
You know you could come by for a visit. No more than an hour on Sunday.
Because of the drugs they give her she does not get up until around
1pm and then there is dinnertime for the facility around five.
I thought Dan was going to find a place for you. That is what I heard.
I thought they were going to pay for you to stay somewhere.
Well you know Dan. He is set on his mind's will, just like his mother.
Really it was not until he found out about my cancer that he suddenly
turned around and paid attention.
Yeah. He knows something of cancer, because of his father and Joe,
being the Good Soldier, taking care of him to the end. Once a Marine
aways a Marine I say.
You know more about that than I. So how are you doing?
Well I am going to have an operation on the 26th. I'll be laid up for
a bit after that.
Goodness, if you need anything just call or text me! Anything at all.
I can bring groceries or whatever from the pharmacy. Whatever is it
for?
O just some stones need to be removed; nothing like your situation.
Don't worry about me. I have arranged meal delivery kits and such. I
will have to wear a catheter for a while, but I have taken care of it
in advance.
Just like me. Stubbornly independent. But really, it would be good
for me to do something and get out of the living situation. I have these
twinges -- nothing really -- but activity would take my mind off of
things.
You say you are going on Sunday to see B.?
Yes. Around three would be excellent. I will be there from one until
then. Shoot me a text when you are coming and i will give directions.
Beth we have know each other a long time. How many years has it been?
And you taking care of B. even after leaving employ.
Well you cannot be taking care of somebody for so long and not have
some attachment. And it gets me out of the house and thinking about
something other than things like losing all my hair and . . . other
problems. Stuff the doctors never told me. The nurses are told not to
say anything -- for legal reasons of course.
I am finding that out. Look I am going to have to go. See you Sunday.
It is Saturday and you are working again, I can tell.
Yes, it is a distraction from, well, as you said, 'other problems'.
I will be over there at one. I will comb her hair, which no one does,
and use the dry shampoo, and change her undershorts. Coming around three
would be perfect.
See you then.
The Editor strolled the darkened aisles of the Offices. Ever since
COVID issues have been sporadic, with agents out ill, reporters in jail
or worse, and maniacal protests against masking and no end of nuisances
But Life goes on and Death intervenes with now regular regularity. So
many of us now encompassed within the realm of Cancer. Tonight the full
moon was waning in strength and the fields empty of howling, empty of
even turkey calls. The Nature World was adrift and Antartica melts.
As the hours ticked by to the witching hour, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

AUGUST 07, 2023
THE LEAVES WERE LONG, THE GRASS WAS GREEN

Walking in the north woods, plagued by thought and worry sometimes
a brief glimpse of a possible world where the burdens we have carried
so long get set down and we shall suffer no more appears between the
trees. No wonder people glom onto images from Tolkein, for the promise
is that once the world was filled with wonder and fair things like elves
and all the monsters defeated.
It is all very fine to be cynical, for that is a safe road and assured
and comfortable in a way. Are you not tired of being cynical? Say not
"Is it possible that we will suffer no more?", but that we
make our wonder here and now, day by day, knowing what its like out
there, knowing its going to be ugly when it all ends.
The leaves were long, the grass was green
The hemlock-umbels tall and fair
And in the glade a light was seen
Of stars in shadow shimmering
Tinúviel was dancing there
To music of a pipe unseen
And light of stars was in her hair
And in her raiment glimmering
from the Lay of Beren and Luthien
LEARNING TO WALK AGAIN
When Denby got released from the hospital, where he had been ever since
Javier's last disastrous birthday, it was Pahrump come pick him up on
the scooter. While in the hospital, his room-mate, if that is what you
want to call it, was Ranger McGuffin, the man who had tried to stop
the Hellcats on Wheels from invading the park at Alpine Lake. The women
were not to be shunted by symbols of the patriarchal hegemony and they
had rode over the ranger's legs for all his pains to enforce order and
all of his masculine resolve got all smashed up along with his tibia.
After he finished chewing out Denby for being part of a group that
started fires in the park, broke all kinds of rules, sowed disorder
and mayhem, destroyed public property, endangered human lives and livestock,
threatened the County watershed with disaster while dismaying the populace
with atavistic orgies of violence he asked what for? What in Sam Hill
was it all for?
Well, Javier is like that. Every year he has this birthday celebration
and he has these ex-girlfriends you see, a bout twelve or fifteen of
them . . . .
What sort of man entertains girlfriends like that! Expostulated McGuffin.
Once again Denby saw the enraged eyes of Raquel with her wild black
hair flowing behind as she descended on him swinging a spiked morning-star.
Now Raquel, lets talk this over . . . Denby had begun, but she just
cracked him in the ribs, screaming "Where is he?" He just
likes exciting women, said Denby.
What on earth do they want to do with him, McGuffin asked quite reasonably
from his gurney across the way. The little machine that goes "boop!
boop!" at regular intervals continued to do so.
Emasculate him or marry him, said Denby. Which all the same thing I
suppose.
After that the two of them got on famously talking about all kinds
of Ranger type boyscout park kinds of things full of poaching adventures
and bears doing the tarantella in the woods and merit badge deeds of
honor and all kinds of nature park things and they played with the O2
sensors and the monitors and Denby tried to see if he could make the
machines play a song until nurse Betty came in to bawl him out and tell
him to stop.
It was there in the hospital Jose came and told him that Chad had died
of a heart attack. When Jose left, Denby turned his face to the wall
for a long time.
When Nurse Betty came in she remarked, "What's up with you sourpuss?
Catheter chafing ya?"
Yeah, said Denby. It hurts.
So she gave him some meds and he went to sleep for a while.
Denby left McGuffin with a friendly heart and the two promised to keep
in touch and maybe McGuffin would see about getting Denby a job in the
park service, a prospect Denby felt was rather unlikely being an accused
and convicted property destroyin' scoundrel of a nuisance to the County
and all the others had gotten away clean without so much as a fine.
Save for Jose who got himself impaled by Carmen's flaming spear.
When Pahrump showed up he said, "You look like hell!"
Thanks bro, said Denby.
Pahrump took Denby back to the San Geronimo Valley and Silvan Acres
where all the House was gathered again. Some of them bandaged up still
after the birthday party. Pahrump got out the jug and they sat on the
back porch and drank cheap wine and looked at the winking lights Martini
had strung up to imitate the fireflies Marsha remembered from New Jersey
when she was a girl. But like Chatgpt it was not really like the real
thing and so they turned them off and looked at the stars. None of them
had ever been a success in life or love and none of them had ever accomplished
any great deeds of renown and none of them every would and they all
knew it.
"The stars," said Pedro. "What is the stars?"
As the hours ticked by to the witching hour, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

JUNE 11, 2023
COMIN' IN ALL DIRECTIONS: HORSES. HORSES. HORSES.

Image is from Carol Taylor on the Island. Carol did this in a splurge
of artistic activity shortly before having cataract surgery. The eyes
are important to a visual artist, or so I am told. Hearts and hugs out
to Carol in recuperation.
MOTHER MOTHER OCEAN, I HAVE HEARD YOU CALL
That time of year had come around again when all the Trauma units,
all the ERs, all the psych wards throughout the Bay Area stocked up
on supplies, ensured double staffing backups, mended doors, tested alarms,
stocked up on replacement plasma, and every ambulance facility went
on high alert for again the wheel of the sun had revolved ponderously
to another Birthday for Javier.
This year the festivities moved away from the known Island venues and
the Household to Alpine Lake near the dam spillway. Due to the recent
atmospheric river storms the reservoir was overtopping 3 billion gallons,
ensuring the preservation of excellent greens for the golfers of Kentfield.
Household members rented e-bikes to transport wind and food and water
illegally past Ranger McGuffin at the parkinglot entrance. So this way
they brought the condiments. And more wine. And some food. And lots
more wine to an informal spot Pahrump and Jose and Pedro had hacked
out of the winter rain foliage with machetes.
Tipitina had made muffaleta sandwiches the day before, and this was
good because everyone knows a day-old muffaleta is better than brand
new. Just go to New Orleans and ask about it.
Because of the overabundance of water this year, the Water District
had put up a temporary retention gate at the head of the spillway to
slow the loss of water wealth and control flooding. The accumulation
of water pressure behind the iron gate caused the thing to groan like
a chained mythological beast. Even so, the water that did allow to pass
rushed down in a cataract with all the force of the rapids in an Indiana
Jones movie.
The party, secure in a safe location that was well hidden and off the
beaten path -- well off the beaten path save for park trails -- got
going with gusto and mirth and a grand time was had by all with lots
of story-telling and laughter and drinking wine and playing games and
lots more drinking wine and muffaletta sandwiches and all kinds of neat
groovy birthday cake kinds of stuff for it was Javier's 65th birthday
and so there was more drinking wine until Snuffles decided to get some
fresh water from the creek.
Snuffles ambled down to a rock above the cataract with his jug and
a water pump and Marlene shouted for him to get away from there it was
no creek, but a cataract and there was no swimming on account of it
being Marin County's main reservoir for drinking water and it was dangerous
besides, fool.
Snuffles turned on the rock to look up towards Marlene and the group
and the sky and what he said was quite unexpected, even for a burnt-out
acid bum like Snuffles. He did not say, "Sorry Marlene," I
am coming right up," followed by a scramble back up the bank, which
most people expected. Nor did he say, "Nah, stop hasslin' me for
a drink of wa-wa", and turn to go down anyway as a matter of personal
freedom, which the Conservatives expected. And he did not say, "Jesus
will protect me for I am just," before emitting beams of holy radiance
and being lifted down to walk upon the waters, which one one expected
at all, but which must be allowed as a theological possibility.
No, what he wailed was, "No! No, no, no, no, no no!" before
falling backwards into the cataract and disappearing from the eyes of
man and woman and all non-binary folk.
Concern for Snuffles was redirected to the sky upon hearing the shrieking
sound not unlike the cries of the Nine Ringwraiths in a famous Trilogy.
Above the trees flew Carmen and Ivana and Diane on hang gliders, looking
for a place to land and attack.
Every year Javier's ex-girlfriends teamed up with disaffected members
of the Amazonian outlaw motorcycle club to attack Javier and either
kill him or capture him, causing much emergency room mayhem in the process.
Once they had been discovered Diane fired a crossbow bolt that pierced
Jose's thigh, causing him to howl. The roar of motorcycles came nearer.
Down at the parking lot Ranger McGuffin held up a hand in front of
a squad of armed Amazonians. "No combustion vehicles on the trails
allowed."
Olga looked at Maruska. Marushka looked at Anastasia. The three of
them looked at the noble Ranger McGuffin.
"Fuck you!" They said, "We are invading!" and roared
at him. McGuffin dove to the side, but not fast enough to escape. The
tires of Irina's motorrbike ran over his leg, breaking it in three places
before she followed the gang all swinging chains and tomahawks up the
trail right around the barriers.
The gang arrived at the trail all bunched together in leather and chrome
studs and armed to the teeth. The hangliders appeared above near the
spillway, having splashed down -- illegally -- into Marin's drinking
water supply.
"Mom?" Little Adam looked up at Marlene. Adam stood to protect
his foster son.
Pahrump motioned to Martini to follow him up to the far end of the
spillway where a lynchpin held the gate fast. The pin itself was a cotterpin-shaped
unit some two feet long. It was wedged in pretty tight and the two of
them could not make it budge.
"Hurry!" Pahrump said. "Or we all are going to die!"
The hang glider crew looked at them across the dam with perplexity.
"Ok" said Martini. "This calls for . . . ". He
reached into his bag and pulled out a can of WD40, which he jetted onto
the pin before taking a tree branch and levering out the pin with Pahrump's
aid until the thing went "CHOING!" and popped loose. The force
of the suddenly relieved metal tension snapped the lynchpin out to the
length of its tether chain which caused the thing to sail in an arc
over the ducking heads of Pahrump and Martini to the far side where
it cold-cocked Diane who was about to shoot them with a crossbow. The
80 pound pin, pulled its tether chain to snag below the knees the remaining
hang gliders and topple them toward into the cataract below.
The massive iron gate swung down on its lower hinges, unleashing 3
billion gallons of water all at once. A wall of water swept down as
the Household scampered uphill, sweeping the motorcycle gang with their
iron steeds down what had become a torrential river.
Meanwhile Ranger McGuffin had crawled in a great deal of pain to the
station to call in there was a problem at Alpine.
That is the reason the helicopters showed up. That and KRON-TV, the
Water District and, inexplicably, Executives from the Women's Building
in San Francisco.
The Women's Building has existed for years as a non-profit refuge,
resource, and nurturing center for women of all ages and leadership
was out for a retreat and relaxing hike when the events took place.
Lucy Goodright, CEO, heard about what had happened from members of the
Household and from the Ranger McGuffin before he was transported to
Marin General.
Goodright apprehended Ivana out of the ebbing stream, bedraggled and
quite waterlogged as the helicopters lifted the iron gate back into
place.
Goodright took Ivana by the ear as the cameras of KRON-TV approached
and shouted, "I am the Women's Building and I do not approve of
this message!"
Javier was, as usual, nowhere to be found, for he always had some secret
manner of escape planned out in advance.
As the hours of Javier's birthday night ticked by, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

MAY 27, 2023
YOU COULD HAVE A STEAM TRAIN, RUNNIN'

This week's image is a shot of the new mural on the side of the building
that used to be old Pagano's hardware, facing St. Charles Street, home
to the Mastic Senior Center and the St. Charles Asylum for Lunatic Managers.
The quote from Walt Whitman reads, "Because you build for mankind,
I build for you.
THEN CAME THE LAST DAYS OF MAY
The morning is shrouded by dense Pogonip hanging just above the cars
wending their ways in the crepuscular dawn to another day of zooming
meetings and dealing with workplace assholes. This means that the season
is about to change from indifferent post-winter to true Summer in the
Bay Area.
The Scarecrow may not have had a brain, but at least he did not get
lost in Neverland when there was only one road. Those who need magic
ruby slippers to find their way home may rest easy now that the sequin-bedecked
pumps stolen from the Minnesotta Museum of Judy Garland have been recovered.
In August 2005, authorities said a thief broke into the Judy Garland
Museum in Grand Rapids, Minnesota before smashing a glass display case
and stealing the slippers. Investigators said they had no evidence,
aside from a single sequin that had fallen off one of the slippers.
A breakthrough in the case was made 13 years later, when officials
recovered the slippers during an undercover operation in Minneapolis.
"We reached the first goal, the recovery, and its a great
day," North Dakota United States Attorney Christopher Myers said.
The slippers are one of four known pairs that actress Judy Garland
wore in her role as Dorothy in the classic film. They disappeared in
August 2005 from a museum dedicated to the actress in her hometown of
Grand Rapids, Minnesota.
"Theres a certain romance in these types of schemes, sometimes
sophistication, but at the end of the day its a theft," Myers
said.
Tips flowed in over the years but they led either nowhere " or
to reproductions. One week, they were nailed to a wall in a roadside
diner in Missouri, or resting at the bottom of a water-filled ore pit.
"The thieves not only took the slippers, they took a piece of
history that will be forever connected to Grand Rapids and one of our
citys most famous children," Johnson said.
A break in the case came in the summer of 2017, the FBI said in a statement.
An individual approached the company that insured the slippers, saying
he had information about the shoes and how they could be returned, and
"it became apparent that those involved were in reality attempting
to extort the owners of the slippers," Special Agent Christopher
Dudley, who led the investigation from the FBIs Minneapolis Division,
said in the statement.
After nearly a yearlong investigation involving the bureaus Art
Crime Team, the FBI Laboratory, and field offices in Chicago, Atlanta
and Miami, the slippers were recovered during an undercover operation
in Minneapolis, the statement said.
The long-lost slippers were shown to reporters Tuesday at the FBIs
Minneapolis headquarters in a news conference conducted in reverential
tones, with repeated references to rainbows and the memorable quote
"theres no place like home."
"Theyre more than just a pair of shoes, the slippers. Theyre
an enduring symbol of the power of belief," Grand Rapids Police
Chief Scott Johnson said.
As Glinda the Good Witch says in the movie when she is describing the
slippers appeal to the Wicked Witch, "Their magic must be
very powerful, or she wouldnt want them so badly."
So anyway.
It was a long-awaited three-day weekend that left everyone gasping
like grunions on the beach. Members of the Household gathered out back
to play horseshoes and cornhole and grill sausages on the makeshift
grill that Martini had fashioned out of rebar cuttings from a construction
site.
The Editor sat musing at his desk at the end of the day, thinking about
having met Cpl Mac down the Hill at Carter's gym. Mac had been promoted
to something larger, but he did not stand on rank. They had traded a
few stories while the 80-something lung-cancer survivor pressed more
weight than most of the young snappers could handle.
Once a Marine, always a Marine for life.
Mac had opted out of NCO school because of the high mortalty rate of
first lieutenants. Out in the bush the patrol was having trouble maintaining
contact so the short radio antenna for the Prick 25 was swopt for the
longer one. He had been carrying the radio when the Lieutenant, crouching
on one knee in the grass, screamed at him to get far away from him.
He tried to say something when the Lt. unleashed a violent volley of
extreme profanity. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU ASSHOLE!"
So Mac had turned and trundled away with the radio and its ten-foot
antennae sticking up and felt a thud that knocked him to the ground,
hearing at the same time a volley of AK-47 fire answered by the team.
He had been shot in the back, but the radio, drawing fire, had also
saved his life. They had another Prick 25, but amazingly, the thing
still worked.
First Lieutenants had such a high mortality rate because the VC snipers
would aim for the man closest to the radio, figured that would be the
commanding officer. Next best, of course, would be the radio operator.
On the deck, the Editor lit a cigar as the evening murmured memories.
Cpl Mac was 80 and had survived the jungle and Stage 4 lung cancer,
but the truth was that all of them had started the final quarter of
the Game of Life. The Editor asked Mac about his next book and Mac told
him that his next book would be full of happy memories. Happy memories
of Vietnam.
It is just as important to remember those happy memories as to remember
the not-so happy ones or the violence overwhelms the peace earned with
so much difficulty. Otherwise the bad guys win for sure.
As the hours of Memorial Day night ticked by, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

MAY 14, 2023
FOR THE ROSES

This week's image is that of a rose from former Island-Life photographer,
Tammy Chadwick. Tammy passed away a year ago a few months after her
husband while en route to see her mother in another state.
WHAT'S GOING ON
Like the Weather
We had a one day heat wave throughout the Golden State, but mercifully
we are back to moderate temps. As we approach another Fire Season, likely
to be every bit as violent as the ones past the well-matriculated hillsides
of Marin are abuzz with energetic cutbacks of vegetation.
The Department of Water Resources (DWR) today conducted the fourth
snow survey of the season at Phillips Station in late April. The manual
survey recorded 126.5 inches of snow depth and a snow water equivalent
of 54 inches, which is 221 percent of average for this location on April
3.
This years April 1 result from the statewide snow sensor network
is higher than any other reading since the snow sensor network was established
in the mid-1980s. Before the network was established, the 1983 April
1 statewide summary from manual snow course measurements was 227 percent
of average. The 1952 April 1 statewide summary for snow course measurements
was 237 percent of average.
While winter storms have helped the snowpack and reservoirs, groundwater
basins are much slower to recover. Many rural areas are still experiencing
water supply challenges, especially communities that rely on groundwater
supplies which have been depleted due to prolonged drought. Long-term
drought conditions in the Colorado River Basin will also continue to
impact the water supply for millions of Californians. The state continues
to encourage Californians to make water conservation a way of life as
more swings between wet and dry conditions will continue in the future.
Meanwhile concerns about torrential flooding once this immense snowpack
absorbs summer heat remain such that State and local agencies are working
night and day on diversion efforts to ameliorate the flooding expected.
I'm Not Sick but I'm Not Well
The COVID emergency is officially ended, not because it is no longer
an issue, but because people are tired and stupid and intelligent, thoughtful
response to facts is a seldom seen event in today's America. We have
gotten used to 100,000 people dying each year to the disease, so make
that your new reality.
This Island Life
Despite lost of the non-fictional masthead staff due to death, and
also health problems due to stroke, Island-Life continues on a reduced
frequency until resources can be mustered. Pretty much all social and
cultural events have been cancelled for the time being. We hope to resume
operations in the Fall, should all staff survive undamaged the annual
Mountain Sabbatical.
MAMA SAID
So anyway. Household members made their way down to Oaktown and the
original Mama's for the annual tradition of mimosas and brunch at the
place that has been serving excellent coffee and brunch since 1974.
Even gals that had no mothers anymore showed up for this gathering,
largely to honor the dead mom's of the past. Mr. Howitzer, the landlord,
always drove out to Colma with some type of missle weapon to slaughter
the crows roosting on the old family crypt, but that was Mr. Howitzer
and everybody knew the way he was. One time he went out with a golf
caddy loaded with a brace of rifles and fired until he knocked the wing
of an angel off of someone's ancestral tomb, which made the caretakers
quite wroth.
Mama's hosted the Household, which included Little Adam (not so little
any more) and his Replacement Mom, Marlene, Tipitina, Suan and her dad
(official Mom), Marsha, Pedro and Hermina and Ms. Sanchez nee Morales,
showed up with Mr. Sanchez and little Eduardo, now three. Ms. Sanchez
still taught English at the Longfellow school.
Bear and Susan went out to the Biker BBQ in Martinez, for Susan had
become a official Motorcycle Mama. Bear did know know how that happened,
but much about Bear was unclear down to his mismatched red and blue
socks. Despite Susan's diametrically opposition presentation of neat
and clean white long sleeve button-down shirt, capri pants and immaculate
pageboy hair opposed to Bear's beard and hair providing refuge for animal
life, grease-stained t-shirt, filthy leather jacket and lamentable jeans
with workboots she did have a sort of yen for wilder things.
The event at Mama's always was more sedate than that, for the truth
is all off us, everyone you see on the street and at work sitting at
desks and answering the telephone was the product of one orgasm, at
least, and then the fun was over. Everyone got carried around for 9
or so months at end of that period of nausea and discomfort was expelled
through one of a limited number of means into the world and for the
luckier ones, was nurtured and cared for by someone special of their
own blood and for kids like Little Adam, nurtured and cared for after
the fact, which included being tossed onto the street by someone of
less than stellar moral, ethical and intellectual standards - a crack
whore.
So let that stand for you lucky ones; no matter how bad it gets with
your mother, it could always be worse, as they say up in Minnesotta.
So they all gathered around and enjoyed the fine mimosas and omlettes
of Mama's Royal Cafe and a fine time was had by all, talking about motherhood
and the Warriors (what a shame!) and surviving despite the proud man's
contumely and crack whores and all that sort of neat groovy mother-loving
sort of stuff until the hours extended and the shadows dragged long.
Denby was stirred by a phone call the night of Mother's Day.
Denby, when are you going to get married?
Mom.
Denby what about that girl Sharon? She had a good job -- she was a
nurse. I don't understand why you two did not make a go of it.
Mom, Sharon went crazy.
So crazy schmazy. What's a few mood-swings now and then. Take a pill.
Mom, she tried to kill me with an ax.
So? You cannot handle a little temper? You boys are so coddled. Are
you eating enough? I shouldn't say that; you are getting a bit round
in the middle kiddo.
Mom, I'm fine.
Fine he says. Fine. And here I am, withering away, lonely because nobody
calls me, not ever and look at all I did for you! Who wiped your runny
nose and put bandaids on your boo-boos! Who scraped and slaved and did
all the cooking and washed and ironed the sheets and all the extra things
while your father . . .
Mom, you did not have to iron the sheets. . . .
O listen to you! Such ingratitude! And I am feeling such pains and
the doctor -- a lot of good he is with his fancy degrees -- minimizes
EVERYTHING. I am sure I have cancer of the lumbago or something, I am
sure of it -- I can feel this stabbing inside, and its eating me. Its
eating me!
Mom, wait a minute . . .
And does my ungrateful son ever call me? Not ever to ask how his poor
suffering cancer ridden mom is dealing with her pains . . .
Mom . . .
Just once you could come and visit. Would it hurt this famous very
busy son to come and visit for a few hours, maybe a few days, the one
who raised him up and held him, his suffering, wasting, mother being
eaten up by lumbago cancer or something worse!
Mom, this is impossible . . .
O, I am bereft to have such an ungrateful son! Why is this so impossible?
Mom you have been dead for two years.
Well fine! Just fine! See what happens when you have children! Goodbye!
Mom . . . .
[click]
That is when Denby woke up from his nightmares and went to have a drink.
As the hours of Mother's Day night ticked by, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

APRIL 30, 2023
BUCKEYE JIM

TALES OF THE NONPROFITS - MY BIG 10 INCH
So anyway Danielle told Denby at 2:30pm she had an important social
engagement and Antja would be the only one on desk. It would be good
if he stayed over this Friday evening to hold the fort. With that, Danielle
turned on a red high heel and left the building, leaving the lesser
souls to answer calls down in Urgent Care.
Nurses ghosted in the distance from one hallway to the next. Antja
sighed. "I suppose we could order pizza delivery. Again."
Denby thought for a minute. "I can have Pahrump drop something
off for us. Not pizza though."
"What would that be?"
"You'll see."
An hour later Pahrump showed up with a box that held a gallon jug of
murky liquid and a quart of Raspberry Pizzazz juice cocktail.
Antja looked at him quizzically.
"You'll wanna mix this for sure," Pahrump said. "It's
something Martini cooked up in the backyard." He then left, promising
to return to fetch Denby in a few hours.
Forty-five minutes later the room was a mess with pizza boxes and papers
on the floor and Antja and Denby were living it up with music playing
over the tinny speakers of a PC. They were telling each other the hospital
gossip and had told about times each of them had nearly died and suffered
unbearably and they were laughing like a hebephrenics. Denby told about
how the Angry Elf gang had shattered his knees and they both laughed
so hard they fell off their chairs.
"Patellar Revulsion what?" said Antja. "Bwa hahahahaahha.!"
It was a slow night and nurse Sanchez came down the hall to find out
what the party was all about.
Antja asked if there was much happening down at the POD.
"Nothing doing. We have no doctor." Said the nurse. "But
we have to stay on. You know. Because. Sucks."
"Where's Doctor Fong," asked Anja.
"Friday night, first of month every month, is opera night,"
said the nurse.
"Here, have some Razzamatazz," offered Antja.
After a few sips, Nurse Sanchez said, "Hey that's good! What's
in it?"
"We don't know," said Denby honestly. "Mostly juice
I guess. Couldn't be bad for you."
"Let me bring some back to the POD."
"How you going to carry it," Antja said.
"I got this plastic urinal . . .".
A few hours later Urgent Care was long closed, but nurses and PA's
lay on floors and gurney's and white smocks and lab coats were stained
with Razamatazz and pizza sauce. The night shift Security coming by
almost called in a Code Silver for active shooter until someone giggled.
"O for pete's sake," said Security before closing the door
and walking away.
"O dear," Denby said. "David is going to have a fit
when he gets back from vacation."
"Tell him he can suck on my big 10 inch," Antja said.
"Record of the favorite blues . . ."! sang Denby.
"Record of the favorite blues . . .", chorused Anja.
Together: "10 inch record of the favorite blues . . .".
As the sun eased down at the start of Spring, the Editor sat in meditation
on his creatures. Molly had told him long ago that you must not just
like your characters - you must love them. She paused, back then, and
then added, "sometimes that is more terrible."
The people working for him, or for any not for profit enterprise, working
for dirt pay or sometimes nothing at all, be it a radio station, a clinic,
a social program, or his own modest proposal of some 26 years, were
a special breed of human being, especially the lower the social rung
on the corporate ladder. Most of them looked to find a niche of some
kind of infirm security to support their "real" lives. Most
of them artists of some kind in a country that does not as a rule treat
its artists well until the probing searchlight of fame nails them down
where they stand to put them in a cage of fortune.
Until that searchlight finds them by some arbitrary fit of chance,
most labor in dark obscurity with a few inhabiting fictional lives in
cages not so bright, such as the voices on the radio. Day in, day out
a familiar voice comes to you in the crepuscular dawn to deliver the
news or traffic report and another comes on after the shadows have grown
long, becoming trusted companions with mannerisms and personalities
that make you glad that they are still there in a very uncertain and
often violent world.
One time a host came on with a clear case of sore throat and it was
so painful to hear that he wanted to rush over there to that mythical
radio tower that had to be located somewhere nearby and not Los Angeles
or Chicago and deliver a few lozenges and words of comfort. There there
sweetie, it will be all right.
But of course there is no one place in the City for the Station: the
various announcers are scattered in various towns all across America,
in Los Angeles, in Reno, in Des Moines, in Lincoln Nebraska, in Chicago,
in the District of Columbia and Weehawken New Jersey, anywhere in the
packed masonry of States.
It is the voices what we come to love and he realized when she was
not there one day -- these people are workers who earn vacations like
everyone else -- that he missed the traffic woman.
The hosts and engineers that work at listener-supported radio, like
KQED, probably do not make buckets of money and perhaps there were for
some alternative career paths imagined at one time. But sometimes all
you want is a job, a fact that some nonprofit managers lose sight of
in their Quixotic jousting against an infinite Mission. Those are the
ones who contract the Nonprofit Disease, forgetting the race is an ultramarathon,
the war one of extended lifelong effort fraught with infinite possibilities
to which one devotes limited resources, and the attempt to do all at
once will result in more human damage than good, engendering a world
of resentment instead of saving the world.
A nonprofit should always operate just like listener-supported radio.
Each day is a new day. Each "show" is a new effort to shine
a flashlight into the darkness of these times. There may be some extended
projects that involve a series, but there is a defined beginning and
end to them, save for replays.
It is the same for the battle against any kind of cancer or health
care - each day is a new day and there may be outreach initiatives and
programs that last for a time, but at the end of the day the resources
are limited to accomplishing what one has to do -- for that day.
Long time ago the Editor got into a dustup with his sister and they
started hurling garden fruit at one another. The Editor had a pile of
tomatoes and he threw those until they splatted and were all done. His
sister dug around and threw a potato that bonked off his head.
"Hey! That hurt!"
In answer, she threw two more. One missed but one hit his shoulder.
"Stop it!"
"Give up?" said his sister.
Moment of thought. All right.
Don't throw all your tomatoes at once and expect more will just show
up. It takes time to nurture potatoes. Any they will produce more if
the ground is tended.
The Editor walked out onto the back porch and noticed that over a few
hours spikes had erupted from the buckeye trees. Something was about
to happen.
As the hours of the night ticked by, the train horn keened from Oaktown
across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the Island breakwaters
and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of Marin's well-matriculated
hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of Princess Tamalpais, following
the old, forgotten railheads that once led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard
to the coast, the sound stirring the coyotes who began to howl their
evensong which carried forth on the winds over Fairfax and White Hill,
ululating through Silvan Acres and the mist-shrouded niches of the San
Geronimo Valley, coursing with gray shapes along the ridge-tops through
the drifts of fog and redwoods to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.
[Verse 1]
Got me the strangest woman
Believe me this trick's no cinch
But I really get her going
When I whip out my big 10 inch
[Chorus]
Record of a band that plays the blues
Well a band that plays the blues
She just love my big 10 inch
Record of her favorite blues
[Verse 2]
Last night I tried to tease her
I gave my love a little pinch
She said now stop that jivin'
Now whip out your big 10 inch
[Chorus]
Record of a band that plays the blues
Well a band that plays the blues
She just love my big 10 inch
Record of her favorite blues
[Big Ten-Inch Record is a cover of dirty blues
sax man Bull Moose Jacksons 1952 song. It was written as an allusion
to the ten-inch vinyl records that were common in the early 1900s.]

APRIL 16, 2023
I'M SAILING AWAY

APRIL IS THE CRUELEST MONTH: TALES OF THE NON-PROFITS, PART I
So anyway things are all topsy-turvy and chaotic at the KQED offices
downtown. The women of Marketplace have locked Kai Ryssdahl in the corporate
restroom and tied up Justin Ho under the lunchroom table and have taken
over the control booth. The engineer, Juan Carlos Torredo, was slipped
a Mickey Finn into his Dos XX and lies stretched out on the floor. Kimberly
Adams hung a curtain with a sign saying, "Out of Order" in
front of the restroom door, then stood over Justin with a six-inch stiletto
heel pressed to his neck.
"Everybody thought I was just a mousy girl with thick glasses
from Baltimore, but today I am Journalist Extraordinare, Sue Scott!
And we are taking over this rabid nest of patriarchal finance."
[Muffled sounds of protest. Sue! Let me out of here! I promise an in-depth
coverage of Baltimore's waterfront!]
"Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain," Sue Scott
said. "I am in control here. Julie Deppish will now tell us what's
happening at the Altamont Pass."
Producer Peter Rosen walked in suddenly and Kristin Schwab, wearing
camo fatigues and bandoliers of ammunition, clocked him on the head
with the butt of her AK-47 then wrapped a loop of blockchain around
his neck as he lay there comatose.
[Muffled pounding from behind the curtain]
"Marketplace used to be only a paltry 30 minutes," Sue Scott
said. "We are pre-empting the programming and extending to a full
9 hours. Megan, get to the NYSE and start reporting on the hour every
hour. We will want to know how those women-owned startups that never
get a mention are doing."
"Right Boss! " And off darted Megan McArty Corrino, wearing
a trenchcoat, Doc Martins, and wrist-spikes.
It was a Revolution.
The door burst open and a gentleman appeared dressed in a long dustcoat,
bearing a bouquet of roses.
"I have been waiting so long," said the man. "Something
seems to have happened to the security guard so here I am - for my Beloved!"
[muffled pounding from behind the curtain. Hey! Somebody get me out
of here!]
"Are those for me?" asked Amy.
"These are for the woman who has the voice of Love!" said
the man. "And there she is!"
[Groans from the Producer on the floor. Muffled pounding from the restroom.
Weeping and begging from the lunchroom]
Julie Deppish appeared around the corner, having left a sound booth.
The gentleman fell to his knees before the startled newscaster.
"Julie I have long adored your voice, day in and day out announcing
bad news every hour with a voice full of compassion for the highway's
operatic theatre of death and tedium! I want to elope with you to Northern
Italy!"
"O dear, if you knew the traffic outside of Milan the way I do
you would not say that!"
"Can you accept this token at least of undying devotion to your
voice?" [proffering the bouquet]
"Well I guess since we are listener supported radio and not at
all a government-funded program, then okayyyy."
Just then a woman with hair flaring about her in a profusion of colors
flew into the room and seized the microphone. She was followed by several
others. A struggle ensued.
[Muffled pounding behind the door. More groaning from the Producer]
"Areema, leggo of the mike," Sue shouted.
"Not until I am made a gameshow hostess," said Areema grimly
as she kneed Sue Scott in the stomach.
In answer, Sue Scott threw a punch at Areema who ducked and responded
by knocking the glasses off her adversary's face. "Let go of the
mike! The pledge drive recording is about to end!"
"I am not letting go until you can pronounce my name!" shouted
Areema Khrais.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Nooooooooo!"
"Yes!"
"I can't! No one can!"
"Kai can. He is a real man who appreciates a Woman for what she
is worth. You, on the other hand, have contracted the Nonprofit Disease
of Overweening Pride."
Areema judo flipped Sue Scott onto her back and regained the microphone.
While she introduced Jennifer Pak to deliver a story on Chinese cottage
industries, Julie Deppish and the gentleman in dustcoat overwhelmed
Kristin Schwab with a barrage of Giradelli chocolates and quickly disarmed
her. NPR associate producers eventually arrived to take away Sue Scott,
Kristin Schab and Kimberly Adams.
Sue Scott looked over her shoulder at Julie Deppish."It was all
a ruse to distract me, wasn't it! Julie, how could you?"
"You should never have called me the "traffic girl"
on air, Julie said. "I am a professional Woman!"
Kai was let out of the restroom to restore order to the fractured radio
kingdom.
Its a dark night in a Station that knows how to keep its secrets, but
high upon the upper floors of the NPR building sits one woman still
pondering traffic's persistent questions -- Julie Deppish, Private Eye
Traffic Reporter.
As the hours of St. Parick's night ticked by, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

MARCH 19, 2023
ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN SEE FOREVER

This week the image comes from Island artist Carol B.
Taylor who sometimes makes us miss this island home of 27 years. That
is the USS Hornet to the left and Babylon in the distance.
DIRTY OLD TOWN
So anyway, when Denby got out of the jail on account of the St. Valentines
Day Massacree -- an annual tradition that has Denby depantsed, arrested
and thoroughly humiliated from one year to the next because nothing
says True Love like pain and embarrassment -- he got back to the Household
a dispirited but unbroken man. He had to pay a fine of $50 and go down
with a bunch of felons wearing orange vests and pickup the garbage from
the SUV and get discharged with the stern warning never to be seen driving
around the County with garbage and bags of weed ever again.
By then another weekend had arrived and it was come to the annual wearing
of the green with shamrocks and Ireland's 39 all over the place, especially
at the Old Same Place bar on the Island. All the usual gang was there
to hoist a Guinness or two and talk about the times, both old and new
and enough hot gossip to sear the bristles off the cheeks of a boar.
Dawn and Padraic stood behind the long teakwood bar with its brass
rails and jars of pickles at one end and IRA tip jar at the other. Suzie
had been got up by Padraic in a fetching green fedora, white blouse,
and a far too short green miniskirt (designed by Padraic) and white
stockings inserted into buckled shoes. Suzie had drawn the line on wearing
six inch stilleto heels all night for she was a sensible girl.
The whole place was cheerful with a clatter and chatter and Denby up
in the Snug playing his guitar when the door opened and a strange apparition
flew in to the room to hover overhead. It was an oval box with antennae
and two propellers and stenciled underneath was the image

"Anatoly," Padraic said. "What does that say?"
Anatoly, full name Anatoly Tolysha Diminya Irysa Schostikovich Borotkin.
This name is because his great grandmother had blue eyes, which persist
in his lineage to this day. And it may be that he has lineage extended
back in time to the Ukraine. He had come to the US to escape the Soviet
gulags some time ago.
Anatoly turned pale. "Is Russian Air Force."
Padraic shrugged. "Well it is not doing any harm at the moment.
Just ignore it."
Dawn, however was not so sanguine and she grabbed a broom in an attempt
to shush the thing away. "Ya omadhauen ya, its spying on us!"
The drone only spat some kind of oil that burned on Dawn's skin as it
evaded Dawn's broom flailing.
The door opened and in flew several more of these things which began
buzzing this way and that. Two of them flew over the bar and dropped
poop into the ice behind the bar, causing Padraic to fly into a rage
and knock one down with his blackthorn stick so that it landed beside
the rail on its back, quivering like a beetle, but before Padraic could
come around the thing righted itself and took off again into the rafters.
Two of them flew over to Denby and interrupted him by singing in mechanical
voices parts of the Bohemian Rhapsody until Denby threw a drink at it.
"So you think you can stop me? O mama mia mama mia mama mia .
. .".
The others dived at the hair of people sitting at tables and joined
in singing in various keys disjointed phrases, occasionally joining
in dreadful chorus harmony.
"Boobalah! We will not let you go! (Let him go!) Boobalah! We
will not let you go! Never let you go! Let you go! Let you go!"
The door opened and in strode the members of the Angry Elf gang, accompanied
by two enormous men dressed in black overcoats and fur hats. The man
who ran the Angry Elf gang had earned his label by way of standing 5
foot 1 in boots with heels and possessing a demoniacal rage that manefested
itself in violent outbursts that often injured both property and people.
His one positive attribute was that each year he presented a public
resolution to do his best not to kill someone that year. Of course no
one is perfect and some years he lapsed in this promise via indirect
action. Most years he made his money threatening people for hire, and
this seemed to work well for him most times. Then he might have to get
someone beat up to make an example. Some people said he was a useful
businessman.
Padraic put his hand under the bar on his shilleleagh. "We are
wantin' no trouble here."
"Me neither," said the one they called Weasel. "We are
just making a collection for charity." Weasel motioned to Narita
the Knife who brought out a jar from the sleeves of her kimono. "Tis
a care package for the mothers of all those stalwart Russian boys fighting
the Nazi Ukraines."
A few of the drones hovering over tables lowered little baskets from
their cargo bays while still singing, at a somewhat merciful lowered
volumne.
"He's just a poor boy from a poor family . . .".
Then was heard a mighty music that drowned out the drones. A stirring
of violins followed by a single horn and then a swelling of strings
and more horns and all who stood there were amazed and the Angry Elf
gang looked at one another non-plussed.
"Oi, stoh eto?" queried a drone.
Then the door was open and the wind appeared. The candles blew and
then disappeared. The curtains flew and then He appeared, saying "Don't
be afraid."
And in darted an host of hummingbirds which drew an attack by the drones.
And as the Wee man strode amidst the battle of the skies to the bar,
others hid beneath the tables and the stirring strings yielded to the
lusty sound of a chorus of deep voices as the hummingbirds dived like
the dragons of Avatar upon their foes.
Sinne Fianna Fáil,
Atá faoi gheall ag Eirinn,
Buíonn dár slua, thar toinn do ráinig chugainn,
Faoi mhóid bheith saor, seantír ár sinsear feasta
Ní fhágfar faoin tíorán ná faoin
tráill;
"Ah point ah plain, Padraic," said the Wee Man, for indeed
it was he of old returned and scaredly aged a bit beyond his claimed
1,000 years.
A drove dived down to harry him and the Wee Man produced a small derringer
pistol which he discharged into the drone without so much as looking
before putting the weapon away into his waistcoat. The Drone fell to
the ground.
"Maamaa!" said the drone before going still.
Attempting the same the enormous man named Ivan pulled out a Makarov
and attempted to shoot down a hummingbird but only put a couple holes
in the rafters, until the Wee Man turned about and clapped his hands.
The lights all went out and when they came back on a moment latter Ivan
was holding instead of a pistol a live octopus, which wrapped its tentacles
around his meaty forearm and bit down on his hand with its beak.
"??? ???????!" shouted Ivan Feodor Raskolnki. His friend,
Igor Strabismi would have cut the animal off but he found in pulling
out his hand from his overcoat only a bundle of feathers. The two of
them ran out into the street.
The remaining drones followed them, pursued by the ferocious hummingbirds.
The members of the Angry Elf gang began to slink after them, until the
Wee Man held up his hand. "Now who is going to pay for the damage
here?"
The Angry Elf gang looked at each other. Weasel looked at Narita. Narita
looked at The Cackler. The Cackler looked at Brian Kapo, Brian looked
at Weasel. They all shrugged and made to go out the door.
"Hold on a sec," said the Wee Man. "I am thinking we'll
be wanting some gold here, as usual."
"O no," Suzie said.
The Wee Man clapped his hands and the lights went out again. When they
came back on, a fall of pixie dust was descending to the ground. Narita
reached into her kimono and her hand emerged covered with beetles. "Yah!!!"
she screamed and ran out, followed by the others who were tugging at
their waistbands. One of them couldn't wait but pulled down his pants
to let a horde of green beetles scuttle off in all directions even as
Officer O'Mahauen cruiser passed by, stopped, and emitted the Officer
who arrested the thug for indecent exposure.
The patrons in the bar also all reacted but with wonder at what had
happened below the belt.
"Lord save me, the Wee Man has turned me knickers into lacy gold
again!" Dawn said. Suzie, who had arrived prepared on account of
precious experience, stalked stiffly off to the restroom to change.
Padraic, looking down past his waistband said, "The man is a sodding
pervert!"
"Well," said Dawn sidling up to Padraic. "Let get them
knickers off ya right away!" She batted her eyelashes looking up
at him and holding his arm.
As the hours of St. Parick's night ticked by, the train horn keened
from Oaktown across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the
Island breakwaters and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of
Marin's well-matriculated hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of
Princess Tamalpais, following the old, forgotten railheads that once
led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard to the coast, the sound stirring
the coyotes who began to howl their evensong which carried forth on
the winds over Fairfax and White Hill, ululating through Silvan Acres
and the mist-shrouded niches of the San Geronimo Valley, coursing with
gray shapes along the ridge-tops through the drifts of fog and redwoods
to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

FEBRUARY 26, 2023
LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW

Rare sight of snow on Mt. Tam February 24th. The Bay area was treated
to an unusual deposit of snow from Mt Tam out to Mt. Diablo and down
to the Santa Cruz Mountains, where Hiway 17 was closed due to the hazard.
OH, I NEVER WANNA FALL IN LOVE \ WITH YOU
So anyway. Denby's freakout ended abruptly when he discovered the SUV
containing a dozen bags of pot, 1/2 ton of garbage, and his friends
had plunged off of the cliff to land nose down in another pile of garbage
along the picturesque coastline of route 1.
There are those who would say that the situation was dire and fraught
with elements of catastrophy along with possible serious injury. Other
know better about the nature of the Household members.
Each of them in that SUV was a member of Marlene and Andre's Household,
transplanted from the Island to Silvan Acres in the San Geronimo Valley
during yet another catastrophe and each one of them was a Loser in his
and her own special, darling way. It was just like this crew to wind
up in a place where even the name of the town was misspelled from the
Greek.
"Is anyone hurt down there?" Denby called out to the ascending
Pahrump, who had a 50 gallon plastic bag stuffed with weed slung over
his shoulder.
In answer there was a spate of giggling and then Marlene's voice. "Quentin
has his feet up in the air and Martini is in my lap, and . . . and .
. . Martini's got a stiffy!" More giggling.
People started climbing out of the vehical through the windows until
someone, in their stoned brilliance, figured that the thing had a hatchback.
Pahrump reached the top and plotzed down.
"What are we going to do about the car," Denby said.
"We rented a Ford economy Escort, " Pahrump said. "But
the keys were in the ignition for this one at the end of the lot so
we took it instead. No one knows we have it. Besides, Martini's credit
card is expired."
"Where the heck is this rental place?
"Grima's Garage on Francisco."
"Oh yeah. Grima."
Eventually all the passengers reached the top of the cliff, some with
bags of pot. Martini, carrying two, handed one to Denby.
"What do we do now, " Marlen said. "We are miles from
anywhere."
"Hoof it," Martini said.
"Anyone got anything like a candy bar on them," Quentin said.
"I gots the munchies."
Each of them checked their pockets but only one small bag of peanuts
emerged from Pahrump's coat. Quentin began gobbling up the peanuts until
Marlene said, "Hey! Mind sharing the weath?"
Quentin looked guilty and sheepishly spat out two nuts into his palm
which he offered Marlene.
"Yechh!" said Marlene. "No thank you!"
So the crew began trudging down the road
After a while, with the sun sinking down over the ocean in its usual
picturesque way -- you really couldn't ask for a more beautiful setting
to enjoy your own personal and group catastrophe -- Denby said he had
to pee. So he set down his bag and turned to face the sunset and that
is why he did not see the sheriff come up, scattering the others into
the bushes as they saw it come around the further bend in this very
bendy road.
"All right fella, put your hands up and keep them up or we will
blow your fool head off its stump!"
County Sheriffs are a mean, nasty ornery sort of tough guys and you
had best do what they say. so Denby rose his hands and his pants fell
to his ankles.
"What the hell are you doing marching around Highway 1 with your
pants down?" the Sheriff asked in a most reasonable manner.
"I was taking a pee," Denby said honestly.
"Why the hell did you not use the potty at the State shoreline
access point fifty yards from here?"
"Didn't know about it," Denby said honestly.
"Ignorance of the potty is no excuse in the eyes of the law. Turn
around so we can see your face"
Denby obediently did so.
"For god's sake pull up your pants you disgusting pervert! You
are scandalizing my partner Cpl. Tunduk."
Denby obediently did as he was asked.
"What's in the bag?" The Sheriff asked.
"Pot," Denby said honestly.
"Pot." Said the Sheriff flatly.
"Yeah, pot." Denby said, feeling that things were not likely
to go well for him again this St. Valentine's Day.
"Just why are you toting a big bag of pot that is clearly larger
than the amount allowed for personal consumption on California's beautiful
Hiway 1"
"Car went off the cliff," Denby said honestly.
"Now when and where did this happen?
Denby pointed back from where he had come. "About an hour ago."
The two sheriffs looked at each other.
"You some kinda Hippie?"
"No sir, the Hippies are all dead." Denby said.
"Turn around." said the Sheriff. Cpl Tunduk put a set of
come-alongs on Denby's arms behind his back and he was pushed into the
back of the patrol car. The bag of weed went into the trunk.
They drove to the "scene of the crime" and Cpl. Tunduk got
out to shine her flashlight down on the SUV and took note of its license
plate and returned to the patrol car to call in the plates.
"You planning on just leaving it here?" asked the Sheriff.
"No," Denby lied.
"This your car?"
"No," Denby said honestly.
Getting out of the patrol car the Sheriff tucked his thumbs into his
sam brown belt. "Who owns the car?"
"I do not know," Denby said truthfully, without elaborating,
for elaborating on this detail felt like a really bad call.
The Sheriff climbed down to make sure there were no dead burnt bodies
or any sorts of additional mayhem of the extra-legal kind and climbed
back up.
"Car is full of garbage and more bags of pot," the Sheriff
told Cpl. Tunduk. "No bodies though." He sounded disappointed.
"Cpl. Goblok, the car is associated with Grima's Garage in San
Rafael."
"Oh yea. Grima, said Cpl. Goblok. "You are under arrest."
That is how this time Denby wound up yet again in jail on St. Valentine's
Day and the weekend after, being charged will all sorts of indecent
exposure, transporting pot without a license, littering, and being a
general nuisance.
Take it from Denby, you cannot find a more romantic and beautiful spot
to get arrested than the pristine California Pacific coastline at dusk
with such a beautiful sunset to add to your memories of being held overnight
in a cell shared with John Biestly, in for unnatural congress with a
sow. And it was not even his sow to boot.
As the hours of night ticked by, the train horn keened from Oaktown
across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the Island breakwaters
and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of Marin's well-matriculated
hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of Princess Tamalpais, following
the old, forgotten railheads that once led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard
to the coast, the sound stirring the coyotes who began to howl their
evensong which carried forth on the winds over Fairfax and White Hill,
ululating through Silvan Acres and the mist-shrouded niches of the San
Geronimo Valley, coursing with gray shapes along the ridge-tops through
the drifts of fog and redwoods to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

FEBRUARY 19, 2023
ON AN ISLAND
This photo was taken from the window of a building in
the Gold Coast of the Island by a long time Island-Lifer.
LIGHTHOUSE
So anyway. Abegail was her name and she was the last of her kind. Household
members came upon her as she hitch-hiked during the last Amospheric
River Storm, trying to head East to Kansas for days, but only winding
up, like so many of the Household, entirely turned around and heading
for the Pacific Coast. Well, it happened this way: she got a ride from
a BMW driver who took her west toward his luxurious and remote estate
with vile intentions instead of to Amarillo. She jumped out at the first
gas stop in Arizona when she realized the lecher's intentions, clutching
her handbag and one backpack, losing the hatbox and her suitcase and
pillbox. She snagged a ride with a long-range trucker on the wrong side
of the road and found herself soon in Nevada instead of the Panhandle.
She spent a sleepless, cold, hungry night at a railroad siding in Winnemucca,
until a couple girls from the Bunny Ranch took pity on her -- for such
is the way among those who know the harshness of this world. In the
morning she set out after a full meal, rejecting the offer of employment
there, and promptly hopped the wrong blinds at the railyard that took
her south-west and so arrived in Fresno, California from where she took
rides north, aiming for the I50 freeway, snagging bits of food from
rest-stop tables where people had left fragments of sandwiches and fries
along the way.
It was near Oakland where she unfortunately got a ride from another
BMW driver who had the same intentions as the first one and so took
her not East toward Sacramento, but over the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge
in the pelting rain with an eye towards some amorous event in front
of his well-stocked fireplace. She jumped out at the Valero in Fairfax
as the fiend cursed.
As said, she was named Abegail and she was the last of her kind. She
had been formerly employed as a live Operator for the Western Division
of PacBell, which became ATT. Over half a million women once provided
tips and information before Google over the telephone handset, but times
changed. Phone booths turned into open kiosks and then even those got
removed from streetcorners and freeways. Dial O for Operator got you
a live person who worked to connect you to a person or information.
You wanted a cake recipe? You wanted to know how to make a muffelata?
You wanted the number of a long lost classmate? You wanted to talk to
Elvis Presley or the President? Dial O for Operator and women like Abegail
would answer your call.
For 25 years Abegail listened to stories of failed romances, missed
connections, frustrated desires, longings in the dark night of the soul,
and sometimes just the weather, and if she did not have the exact connection
to a number, she always had a kind word to say. In her early days she
once prevented a young man down from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge
before transferring him to Crisis Hotline. Now that entire world of
human connection had been dissolved and she had been let go with a letter
of recommendation and severance, but no other acknowledgement. An era
of human connection had ended with her termination. She was offered
a position in Account Management, which she knew to be a graveyard,
so she refused.
And so they cut her loose. Another piece of outdated equipment.
At the Household she sat with her remaining possesions in bags, cupping
hot tea in her chilled hands, slowly warming to the Household brown
aura of simple Humanity.
Meanwhile, and so anyway, Denby was preparing for another disastrous
St. Valentines Day Massacree.
Every year various members of the Household handle the Anniversary
of the St. Valentine's Massacree, each in their own way. The Editor
stocks up on Michetorema's frozen dinners and bottles of scotch and
then draws the shades and locks the doors for several days so as to
avoid the amorous charms of the long-legged Johanna.
Denby has tried various ruses but lacking the resources of the Editor
often falls afoul of that nasty, naked boy flying around with martial
arts weapons with no supervision whatsoever.
If Eros had ever had been subject to decent parenting, the world would
be very much different. But his parents had been irresponsible, undisciplined
creatures and so that is what we got -- a naked punk with a bow and
arrows, flying here and there causing havoc.
Now the COVID cabins had been structures erected by Martini and others
when Martini got sick so as to quarantine folks who had gotten the virus,
and getting the virus involved some upchucking, rear-end expulsions,
hacking and terrible weakness for days on end and nearly everyone in
the Household had gotten the disease, so the Cabins were pretty raunchy
after two years of Pandemic with styroafoam food containers, rags, empty
bottles and cans, dead rodents and the remains of at least one opossum
and all sorts of mean nasty disease kind of stuff left behind behind
by the plague survivors.
So Denby joined the cleanup detail assigned with clearing out all the
COVID cabins of garbage, which he and Martini and Pahrump piled into
a Subaru mini-SUV with shovels and rakes and implements of destruction
the day before Valentines Day and so drove off to the city dump in San
Rafael where peacocks guard the gates -- against what, no one knows
-- but there they are to prevent any unauthorized removal or deposit
of unlawful garbage in the city dump.
But when the Household arrived at the gates of the dump there was a
sign and written on the sign were the following words "Closed on
Valentines Day".
Now no one had ever heard of a dump being closed on the day before
Valentines Day, but nevertheless, since Marin is a wierd place with
its own special rules, with tears in their eyes and the peacocks calling
out peacock epithets and glaring with all the venom a bird can muster
as they spread their fantails aggressively, they turned around and looked
for another place to put the garbage.
Now some people, now I means some People, might wanna confuse this
St. Valentines Day Massacree with another Holiday Massacree and we want
to put all that gumption and misdirection aside as we insist the St.
Valentines Day Massacree has all to do with some Jewish guy ordering
the massacree of a dozen Mobsters in a Chicago barn, and nothing to
do with Mrs. O'Leary's cow or Thanksgiving but is really all about candy
hearts and chocolate and blood and brains and all kinds of mean nasty
stuff splattered on the walls of a Chicago barn many years ago and what
do you mean a Jewish guy did this? Oy do we not get enough flack as
it is?
Lets not get complicated. Back in those days the Costa Nostra was real
equal opportunity so even though they was Italian and Catholic when
it came to money, if you could prove yourself cruel and sadistic enough,
you earned your creds; anybody was welcome to the Family, so is that
not Nice?
So anyway, the guys decided to drive to Mt. Trashmore which is an Island
attached to the main Island and looked for a place to drop their garbage,
but Mt. Trashmore was no longer a dump - it had been turned into a public
park -- so with tears in their eyes they picked up some Jaegermeisters
and wine from Bevmo and headed back to Marin, looking for a place to
put the garbage.
Along the way they stopped at one of the Clinics that was part of the
Hospital where Denby worked. Across the parking lot of the Clinic there
had been a Weed-packing factory that had gone out of business. The people
cleaning up the place got so high from contact with the produce stacked
up in garbage bags they forgot to lock the doors, and so the guys, being
all neighborly like and seeking to help out with the clean-up by collecting
any number of plastic bags for stuffing garbage, so they walked in and
found all the plastic bags had been used up, for they were filled with
Product and so they walked in to the warehouse and came out with several
50 gallon plastic bags that also happened to be stuffed with prime 401
which they loaded into the Subaru. So they headed toward the coast in
their Subaru micro-SUV, drinking that good wine and smoking some fine
reefer from the pot warehouse.
Now you would expect that the arc of this story would feature the boys
coming to a cliff, just like in that thanksgiving story by Arlo Guthrie.
They was supposed to come to a cliff and seeing there was a pile of
garbage at the bottom of the cliff and there being no point bringing
that one up, were supposed to throw theirs down and go home and have
a St. Valentine's dinner that couldn't be beat and go to bed and not
get up until the next morning.
But that is not what happened.
Now there are a number of things that could have happened, as you might
expect. They could have strewn the garbage all along Route 1 -- -- but
they were good Californians -- and they did not do that. They could
have dug a pit and buried the garbage, which is what you might have
expected. They could have built a big bonfire and attracted the police
on a Spare the Air day, which is what everyone else expected. They could
have been pulled over by the Sheriff for driving while Black, Brown,
multi-racial and bilingual, been hauled out of the car and beaten, tased
and shot to extremity -- which has become an expected sort of thing.
Or they could have been unmercifully bombed and invaded by the Russians
for no special reason save to be mean, which nobody expected ever to
happen, even though it did in at least one place.
But no. Instead, when they came to the cliff where a pile of garbage
was sitting peacefully in the cold sunlight of Valentine's day, they
parked the Subaru and everybody rolled a spleef and took deep inhales
and looked at the poorly appelled Pacific Ocean and had visions of mermaids
dancing with Cthulu and ancient Greek gods.
It was pretty good reefer.
Denby stepped out of the van and slammed the door to close his eyes
and spread his arms wide to take in the wide wonderful world of sunlight
on his closed eyelids and breath in the seasalt fresh ocean air with
great gulps.
When he opened his eyes and turned, the van was gone. He stood alone
on the cliff and time seemed to stand still and he wondered how much
time had passed in what had seemed like a few seconds. Had he stood
there for a few seconds or for several stoned hours?
Puzzled, he looked all around him, not seeing any sign of any traffic
on the road as far as he could see. Had he been abandoned? How long
had he been standing there in that parkinglot? Hours? Days? Years? Was
he going to turn out to be a modern day Rip Van Winkle to awake in a
brand new world where the Loud Boys had gotten elected to Congress and
Trumpists had caused Florida to secede from the Union and there existed
only One News Agency and that was Twitter? And Denby got really anxious
because what if the Parking Lot had some kind of new surveillance by
the Facebook Corporation which had engulfed both Taco Bell and Mcdonalds?
Mehta Burgers. Impossible Face Burritos. Bag of chips - you want a tracking
implant with that order?
What if it was now Valentine's Day 2053? And right then Denby began
to cry, because he did not want to live in a brave new world full of
clones of Marjorie Green who walked down the street howling and pointing
at the remaining human species to be gobbled up like those pod people
in the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
He ran back to the cliff to find some place to hide and ooked down
to see the van where it had plunged nose-first into the garbage pile
thirty feet below because stoned Martini had forgot to set the parking
brake. Pahrump was even then climbing out one of the back windows.
"If you are coming up here now, bring one of those bags with you,
" Denby called down. "And a light. I am feeling we are all
going to be needing it."
Marlene handed a bag through the window and with the logic of the stoned,
Pahrump commenced to climb up the cliff with a fifty gallon plastic
bag of pot.
[To be continued next week}
As the hours of night ticked by, the train horn keened from Oaktown
across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the Island breakwaters
and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of Marin's well-matriculated
hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of Princess Tamalpais, following
the old, forgotten railheads that once led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard
to the coast, the sound stirring the coyotes who began to howl their
evensong which carried forth on the winds over Fairfax and White Hill,
ululating through Silvan Acres and the mist-shrouded niches of the San
Geronimo Valley, coursing with gray shapes along the ridge-tops through
the drifts of fog and redwoods to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

JANUARY 22, 2023
IF IT KEEPS ON RAINING, THE LEVEE'S GONNA BREAK
Here is a scene from posh Mill Valley, where not all the
wealth and assumed privilege in the world can shunt Nature's wrath.
DASHBOARD
So anyway. The New Year brought in rain storms with a vengeance. The
Household has been busy shunting water off of the hill down past the
holdings, with Martini and company busy with shovels and pipes, letting
loose the pressure from under the earthcap over shale and bedrock. Out
into the storm they went in a car driven by Percy Worthington Boughsplatt
in search of more pipe to snag for the diversion project when they came
across a mysterious figure beside the road.
She stood beside the road, rain dripping down her old-fashioned hat,
bags in a puddle. She looked so bereft that they pulled over to ask
where she was going.
"I do not know," she said. The Company had let her go and
dissolved her Department. A common story around here these days, with
companies and people so fearful of a Recession they seem hell-bent to
cause one rather than remain uncertain. In any case, she was the last
to leave and there would be no more of her kind.
She was the last Western Division Telephone Operator. As of the turn
of the year there would be no more human Operators where once upwards
of half a million woman had thrived answering calls, providing information
and loads of working material for countless musicians, including Laurie
Anderson, Jim Croce, Jimmy Stewart movies, and a great many country
western singers. It was the end of an era that featured dial by letter
numbers, rotary phones, streetside phone-booths that enabled Superman
quick-changes, dial Time, switchboard operators that manually patched
in calls from one location to another, human information lookups before
Google.
She was brought back from the Road to the Household to dry out and
take refuge. Because Americans are supposed to do this for refugees
and our own. We do not cast our own out into darkness.
While this was going on Arnold White and Jason LeNoir set up a football
watching party for just the two of them. As the years have passed for
the two of them they have seen more and more of their old gang check
out or get sidelined by health issues. Jeremiah got Alzheimer's. Winston
wears a colostomy bag and never goes out anymore. Tyree's family checked
him into an assisted living home. Members of the weekly poker club wanted
to stay with their families this weekend and the daughters and sons
of both of them are away at Eastern Colleges. So the two poker buddies
decided to watch the Big Game at Jason's although they did not know
each other well. Both of them fourth generation Bay Area Natives. Jason
went to Mission High and Arnold went to Poly High Tech. Both served
in the Army as grunts, but in different units so they did not know each
other then. Both continued to be bothered for years after leaving military
service, but neither man ever talked about it and both avoided VA reunions.
Same for high school reunions.
During the Civil Rights period of greatest unrest, both men remained
on the periphery of events. A friend asked Jason to join this new Church
was overturning the tables on race, but after looking once as the pastor
with pink wire-rim glasses Jason turned away with some unease. The Church
did a lot of good work and lead the fight against the eviction of tenants
from the International Hotel while working to normalize relations between
Black and White. A bit later on this Church packed up its bags and moved
to Guyana. Like many men of his generation he saw, or heard about, brothers
gunned down by police and crackers from Fremont, but opted for the path
of self-preservation, teaching his girls to stay alert and always be
careful.
It was the Army that taught Winston the truth that all men are the
same on the inside and all men bleed and all men can die. Nothing like
sharing a hooch with a fellow from darkest Mississippi while angry guys
out there in the darkness tried to kill you both to set your perspective.
When he returned Stateside he was changed in many ways, but not always
for the worse. Before that he had only the language of his father and
uncles dripping the N-word and warning to stay away from Those People.
Like the rest of his family he rooted for Nixon and preserving the Social
Order until the force of truth and disappointment caused the scales
to fall from his eyes. It may have been this revision in his heart that
helped his marriage to Cynthia to fail under a mountain of regrets.
He did not wake up screaming anymore, but still.
So the years passed, both men had their respective interactions, each
according to need and employment. Winston became a manager for MacMurray
Pacific, a hardware supplier for the trades. Jason worked his way up
from a fitter at Chevron in Richmond to dock foreman. The two met when
Doyle McGowan started up the weekly poker night at his place in Bernal
Heights. Doyle died of a stroke a couple years ago, but some of the
gang kept the poker nights going intermittently.
So that is how the two men came to be at Jason's house, watching a
football game. The two started talking about football history and Jason's
memories of John Henry Johnson, last of the Miracle Backfield to pass
away; Jason had know his family and when he went to the funeral the
front row filled with broad-shouldered men, glittered from all the gold
Heisman Trophy rings.
A commotion outside brought Jason to the livingroom window where he
opened the drapes wide to see Alex Baynard shooting up the street with
a Mendoza RM2 in the sort of event now commonplace in the New America.
The 1945 version of this rifle can shoot 400 .30 caliber rounds per
minute. When Alex saw Jason at the window he fired a burst that shattered
the glass and then hit Jason in the head and throat, killing him instantly
while removing all the glass from the window and marking up the house
facade.
"Hey!" shouted Winston, turning in his chair. The next burst
shattered the chips bowl, pocked the wall above the TV set, and hit
Winston in the lower chest, his right arm, his left thigh and his left
eye-socket, exiting just behind the Malar through the Temporal bone
just below the sphenoid, and then a round smacked the TV screen, which
partly went dark, but continued playing the game. Other rounds pretty
much wrecked the lamps and furniture.
Winston fell back in his chair and briefly passed out as Alex continued
to shoot at houses and people on the street until the TAC squad put
an end to his rampage in the usual way.
When Winston came to in a blurry fog, he thought he had to get his
cell phone, but then remembered he had left his phone in his truck outside.
His truck also had sustained some damage, but that would never concern
him ever again, for he realized he could not move his legs and he had
a hard time seeing things and he was drifting. He noted Jason on the
floor, realizing his newfound friend was dead and a paraphrased line
from a Hemingway story came to him just before everything went black.
"You and me, old friend, we have made a separate peace."
At the Island-Life news offices, the Editor shut down the video stream
of this shooting event in Babylon's Bayview District and sighed. What
is to become of us - a benighted Nation of violent fools and a benighted
People unworthy of god? The Editor sat there a long while after the
offices had closed down, the single desklamp spreading a pool of light
on papers and his hands while all around hung the dense curtains of
night. Out there, somewhere out there gleamed a sympathetic like mind.
While he remained in this solitary state, doing all for Company.
As the hours of night ticked by, the train horn keened from Oaktown
across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the Island breakwaters
and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of Marin's well-matriculated
hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of Princess Tamalpais, following
the old, forgotten railheads that once led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard
to the coast, the sound stirring the coyotes who began to howl their
evensong which carried forth on the winds over Fairfax and White Hill,
ululating through Silvan Acres and the mist-shrouded niches of the San
Geronimo Valley, coursing with gray shapes along the ridge-tops through
the drifts of fog and redwoods to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

JANUARY 1, 2023
NOTHING CHANGES ON NEW YEARS DAY

CHRONOSYNCLASTIC INFUNDIBULUM
So anyway. The end of the year spun down to its inevitable decline
in a sordid blather of entropy. This year the celebrations and hoopla
lacked energy as the multitude exhausted by COVID and partisan feuding
and sour political tranche plotzed down with the simple common futile
desire to have no more arguments amongst ourselves.
Because of COVID the annual Interdenominational Xmas Pageant did not
happen this year again, and the corporate holiday parties were definitely
more subdued everywhere, with departments opting to hold their own.
Denby joined his hospital department, The Definitely Non-Clinical Operations
Non-Licensed Grunts for a BBQ out at West Oaktown's Horn BBQ. It was
held out of doors so everyone wore parkas and had brisket sandwiches.
Yuey Bui was the only licensed person there, but as RN's are often treated
like crap just like Operations it was all good and the folks had a grand
time with the Secret Santa thing and talking about Spills and Hazmat
and Grey Codes and exploding printers and last minute Initiatives and
everything Urgent, Urgent, Urgent, and staff fluttering back and forth
with their desks like plovers on the beach practicing office feng shui
while plugging in data cables willy nilly right and left in states of
somnambulist disregard and all kinds of groovy medical and semi-medical
things and patient safety and privacy being often afterthoughts to people's
egos and a fine time was held by all on the cold benches there, the
cold benches of Horn BBQ in the heart of Oaktown's Industrial Arts Complex
where Burning Man statues and wondrous kinetic sculptures get forged
in the firey crucibles of art collective warehouses.
As for the Licensed Important Medical People, those Departments held
their affairs in nicely lit warm dining rooms, served with poached salmon,
petite filet mignon and fine wines served by tuxedo waiters into cut
glass goblets. Speeches were held and enough said.
On the Island the hours ticked down to the final turnaround to the
next year.
Per Tradition, Pastor Nyquist of the Lutheran church met up with Father
Danyluk of the Catholic church of Our Lady of Incessant Complaint for
an evening of theological discussion and imbibing from the capacious
cellars of Father Danyluk's rectory.
There, each year for the past twenty or more, ministers of either cloth
had been wont to gather before the fireplace in the Catholic rectory
to toast the new year with no partisan acrimony to interfere.
"I understand
you have have former Pope who is not well, " Pastor Nyquist said
as Sister Profundity stoked the fireplace.
"Ah, yes Benedict. Rare for a Pope to retire early, but he was
getting on."
"None of us getting any younger," said the Lutheran. "I
wonder to where I shall retire."
"Tuscany," said the Priest. "Among the wine-stained
feet of the maidens."
"I should prefer Tenarife," said the Minister.
"Ah! De gustibus non est disputandum," said the Priest.
"As for Benedict, who is not long for this world, de mortuis,
aut bene aut nihil."
"I agree," said the Lutheran. "Just don't talk about
me when I am gone."
As the year ticked over its final minutes and the two clergy snored
themselves into the old Dominium of Sleep. Sister Profundity came in
to remove the wine glasses to safety and tuck each holy man in with
a comforter and thence bank the fire in the grate.
As the hours of night ticked by, the train horn keened from Oaktown
across the estuary to echo off of the embankments of the Island breakwaters
and then ricochet its way through the redwoods of Marin's well-matriculated
hills and slide over the sleeping bulk of Princess Tamalpais, following
the old, forgotten railheads that once led along Sir Francis Drake Boulevard
to the coast, the sound stirring the coyotes who began to howl their
evensong which carried forth on the winds over Fairfax and White Hill,
ululating through Silvan Acres and the mist-shrouded niches of the San
Geronimo Valley, coursing with gray shapes along the ridge-tops through
the drifts of fog and redwoods to an unknown destination.
That's the way it is around the Bay. Have a great week.

TO REVISIT PREVIOUS ISSUES, GO TO THE ARCHIVES BELOW.
.
|